Day 1 of HRT

Today, I slapped on my first patch of HRT or HenRieTta, as I will refer to it (or her) from now on.

I was prescribed Henrietta when I was told I was going through early menopause at the age of 42. Bit of a bombshell to be honest but not totally unexpected as my mother and sister both went through the same thing in their early 40's. They, however, both had 2 children by the time they went through it and I haven't had any so again, slightly more of an unhappy diagnosis. My mother, always one to look on the bright side said "Oh darling, I AM sorry, its my ruddy genes..." she paused for a second and then brightened "but there's always adoption". She does this sort of thing quite often. When I split up with a boyfriend last year and sat crying in my mothers kitchen saying "oh there just aren't any men left, I'll just get older and be alone" my Mother, quick as a flash said "Oh darling, there are always widowers!" Bless.

So, I have had Henrietta sitting on my kitchen counter for over 6 weeks but was told by my specialist that I couldn't start it until the first day of my period. And because my periods are so erratic these days, it hasn't simply been 28 days to wait until I can take them. Until about 8 months ago, I could predict my period to the minute. It always arrived at full moon around lunchtime. Now I haven't got a clue... I have period pains and PMT almost constantly and yet nothing happens.

When a friend asked me on Friday if I had started Henrietta yet, I sighed deeply and said "Noo, I should have taken Henrietta the last full moon but nothing happened so I suppose I have to wait for the next full moon". My friend said completely straight faced "what a strange way to prescribe a medication, by the lunar cycle". I laughed, imagining if that really was how doctors prescribed things.... when the cloud passes over the half crescent of the moon on the third day, take 2 pills with water. Brilliant!

But hallelujah, its not full moon and I got my period today. I read the instructions for about the millionth time, about the minor side effects: the possible risk of acne, facial hair (hello bearded lady), breast tenderness, nausea, headaches, dizzy spells, weight gain and so on, to the risk of quite major side effects: breast cancer! Great! You have to put the patch between your knee and thigh on the outside of your right leg, away from the heart and breasts. Thats weird to start with isn't it? I was worried about water and things getting under the patch but its a clever little thing and just like its evil sister, the tampon, you can run, swim and bathe with it!!! So on with the patch, or rather half a patch in my case. My specialist is starting me off gently... half a patch and if nothing happens I can go full strength, no questions asked. You must change the patch every 3 days and put it in a different place. I can just see me in a months time at the local swimming pool, little sticky residue patches all over my legs.. people will think I'm giving up a 60 a day fag habit!!

I'm going to keep a little log book of whats happening weight wise, side effects etc and show it to my specialist in a months time. I feel slightly excited about how I might just might start feeling a little better. I've been told by much older ladies (the normal ones that take HRT in their fifties) that I will get a heightened sex drive. One friend said her mum began buying sexy underwear and slapping her dads bottom in public... Jeez!

So that leaves me at the age of 42 horny and single... not good. Might just try internet dating again purely to get a database set up of possible late night sex partners.