God, I'm bored!!!

No one tells you, that as a single 41 year old, you will suddenly find yourself with no one to play with. All your friends are coupled up with babies and invariably need 6 weeks notice to do anything! Then, on the day you are supposed to meet up, have dinner, have a drink, go to the cinema... whatever, they ring you and say they can't make it due to sickness (child) or tiredness (them), or both. Its completely infuriating. Understandable but infuriating. I don't ever say anything of course, I totally understand how they must be feeling, probably more pissed off that THEY have to cancel. But, I think it's jolly well time I found some new friends. People who will turn up when they say they will, can stay out late, go off at a moments notice. I'm not saying I want to relive my twenties or something, all I would like is for someone to be free to go to the theatre, for a drink in the local, a drive to the sea. I haven't got a bloody boyfriend so I need my friends.

I'm bored and actually quite lonely. Never in my life did I think I would say that. My life has been so full of, well, living. Friends in abundance, phone always ringing, diary full!! Now I look at my diary and the gaping white pages stare back at me. I am thrilled at the doctors' appointment penciled in, it means I can have a good old chinwag with him... free therapy!! Ooh and I'm going swimming on Wednesday and maybe go and see the new Almodovar on Thursday! On my own!! And there's a possible dinner party in November but that will probably be canceled or rescheduled! 

I'm not really quite sure where everyone has gone but what I am sure of, is that if I had a horrendous accident or fell over in the shower and hit my head, no one would find me or even know I had been hurt... for DAYS!! Most of my friends don't correspond with me until I ring, text or email first. Sometimes I think that may be why I want a baby... to feel loved and wanted and deserving!! 

I sometimes wonder if I've done something to deserve this kind of crappy outcome but I honestly think I'm a good person. If this karma (what comes around, goes around) theory works... then I should be married with 3 kids, living in a huge country house, with a horse, chickens and two black labs!! Karma is shit!!